I Cannot Be a Meal, But I Can Be a Garden

dimensions: 8x12.5x11"

materials: Clay, paint, wire, pigment, wood board.

date: 2023

When you get a potato, you have a set idea about what it's supposed to be and why it's useful. Say you're going to use it to make hash browns: that's how it succeeds as a potato, by being hash browns. If the potato sprouts, suddenly it's not useful for that anymore. It's ruined. You have to completely shift your outlook to what it can be now - a houseplant, a way to grow more potatoes - for it to once again be something of value.

That's very much the process I've gone through with my life as a disabled person. Growing up, I knew I was going to have a Career. That's how success was measured. And then...I couldn't. So I thought I was useless. It took me a long time to realize that I still have value, from my love and friendship to the art I put into the world.

Sometimes I still mourn the hash brown I thought I was going to be, or worry that people think a house plant is less than. But I've come a long way to seeing the value in my houseplant self. I cannot be a meal, but I can be a garden.